Marriage

	"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate," Jesus commands in Matthew 19:6.
	These are familiar words.  They are a standard part of the traditional wedding ceremony.  Of course, it's becoming increasingly difficult to find a traditional wedding ceremony, just as it is becoming harder to find a traditional marriage.
	Our word for this study is, "marriage."  
	In our world of independence and anarchy, it's not popular to talk about rules.  Whether we like it or not, though, successful systems follow rules.  Actually, systems must have rules to even survive.
	This is true in the religious world.  Religious bodies have developed the idea that they can do whatever they want.  But it is not working.  God has rules.  He has clearly-expressed rules about salvation, worship, church organization, living and a host of other subjects.  Oh, a group may get together and make whatever  decisions it wishes.  But the proof will be on the day of Judgment.
	Social systems must also have rules.  Marriage is God-given, but its ties are limited primarily to this life.  There will be no marriage in heaven.  So we are not surprised to be able to evaluate in the here-and-now various philosophies about marriage.  As we examine the experiments of the last few decades, we see clearly that they are not working.
	We spend millions of dollars on research in an attempt to determine what is wrong with the American family, although the answer is really not that far away.  Most American households have a copy of the Bible.  But few take the time to open one, and fewer still pay any attention to what is found inside.  What does the Bible have to teach us about marriage?
	We must recognize above all that the Bible IS the ultimate authority on marriage.  We cannot turn to civil law to find guidelines for successful marriage.  Neither can we turn to religious regulations.  Many church groups have modified their stands to comply with prevailing social tides.  But God's instructions remain true.
	"Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send {her} away?" the people respond to Jesus in Matthew 19:7.
	"Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives," the Lord replies in the next verse, "but from the beginning it has not been this way."
	So what does the Bible tell us about marriage?
	Marriage is the oldest human relationship.  As the Bible introduces this relationship, it also informs us about its purpose.
	"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him,'" we find in Genesis 2:18-24.  "And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought {them} to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.  And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.  So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.  And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  And the man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'  For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
	Here we find that marriage has an important purpose: companionship.  Notice a couple of things about this association. First, it involves a man and a woman.  Courts, employers and insurance companies are being pressured to recognize so-called "same-sex" marriages.  But there is no such thing.  If it is "same-sex" then it is not marriage.  If it is marriage then it involves a man and a woman.  The second thing we observe about marriage here is that it involves a bond which may not be dissolved except for adultery.
	Genesis chapter one gives us another purpose for marriage.
	"Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth," God instructs Adam and Eve in Genesis 1:28.
	Once again, this leaves out a "same-sex" marriage.  It also excludes having children outside of marriage.  Of course it is physically possible to bear children outside of marriage.  But it is God's plan that children be reared in a family consisting of a father and a mother.  While we may have compassion on those who become pregnant outside of marriage, we don't have to glorify that situation.  And we certainly don't need to propose single parenthood as a preferred alternate lifestyle.
	In his letter to the church  in Ephesus, Paul gives instructions about the marriage relationship.  His primary point centers
on Jesus and the church.  But he makes it clear that his statements are also valid for husband and wife.
	"Wives, {be subject} to your own husbands, as to the Lord," Paul writes in Ephesians 5:22-25.  "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself {being} the Savior of the body.  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives {ought to be} to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her."
	The husband has a certain role in the marriage.  The wife has another role.  Our modern society strongly disagrees with these roles.  But, then, our modern society isn't having much success with the family, is it?

	The Bible is the ultimate guidebook on marriage.  God gave us marriage, and He also gave us the rules.  Marriage involves a life-long bond of companionship.  And it provides the setting for rearing a family.
	Many enemies threaten marriage.  One is homosexuality.  As we can easily see, this kind of relationship can provide neither man-woman companionship nor reproduction.
	"For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions," Paul notes in Romans 1:26-28, "for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.  And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper."
	Another enemy is divorce. 
	"But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for {the} cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery," Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:32, "and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
	One of the greatest enemies threatening marriage is egotism. Many tend to reject authority, whether it be the authority of the Bible or the relationship between a husband and wife in a marriage.
	"In the same way," 1 Peter 3:1 urges, "you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives."
	This egotism can also manifest itself in the form of selfishness or resentment, either of which can be fatal to a marriage.  Selfishness is the root of abortion.  We could also discuss men and women living together outside of marriage.
	Let's not spend all of our time, though, focusing on marriage from a negative standpoint.  Marriage is one of God's great gifts to mankind, and He has some powerful instructions about making it work.
	A good marriage is centered on God.  There is overwhelming statistical evidence that those who have devoted religious lives have stable marriages.
	"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," Paul instructs in Ephesians 6:1-4.  "Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.  And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
	A successful marriage requires the same communication which God expects from all His followers.
	"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice," Paul expresses in Ephesians 4:31-32.  "And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
	The love of the Bible is the love which guides a successful marriage.
	"So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies," we learn from Ephesians 5:28.  "He who loves his own wife loves himself."
	"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior," Paul advises in Titus 2:3-5, "not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, {to be} sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored." 
	A marriage should be centered on God, founded on love and nurtured by good communication.  All three of these require a healthy dose of respect.
	"Let love be without hypocrisy," Romans 12:9-11 commands. "Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord."
	"Love is patient, love is kind, {and} is not jealous;" Paul notes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "love does not brag {and} is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong {suffered,} does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
	How can we pursue good marriages?  We can do it only if we cultivate respect for each other, respect for God and respect for His pattern.  The world is trying to drown us in the mire of its false ideas.  Only the truth will set us free.

Unless otherwise noted, "Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE(R), (C) Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 Used by permission."